So, I just finished a guide on self-esteem that is available at 4digitalreads and I thought this would be a great post. I mean, what’s more important than how you feel and think about yourself? In today’s society way too many people miss or forget about having a high opinion of yourself, loving yourself, and how important it is to keep a sense of positivity.
Let’s face it, when you have a high or stable love relationship with yourself – liking and loving yourself- those bad days recover quite well and make the good days even better. Having a high self-esteem generally allows you to overlook those small derailments, not make a small problem seem like the end of the world, and you no longer need validation or attention as much from anyone. In short, life just becomes much less of a rollercoaster. Most importantly, you stop the self-sabotage – we all know how our minds can create so much that isn’t there – like, “I’m not good enough” or “I always fail.”
Stability within yourself will make you more attractive, feel better, and just be a much happier person. So how do we improve our self-esteem? Here are some simple, yet effective and practical ways,
- Control your mind
Positivity is a very powerful tool. Our minds are the beginning of everything. When the voice inside your head is always finding fault with things that you do, the way you look, and any other aspects of life, it’s certainly a challenge to maintain a happy environment for living.
Negativity like: I’m being lazy or sloppy, uglier than so and so, not motivated enough, and/or wish I had this or that like he/she does. You can minimize this critical voice with ease. Simply create the “trigger” word or phrase. Like, Ok I’m doing it again, or Will you just stop! Surprisingly, you will begin doing this automatically in a short period of time if you first notice you are being negative and force yourself to do it. Once this word or phrase is used, refocus your thought to a more constructive occurrence or thought.
- Focus on what you really, really like to do.
When you love to do something it motivates you. Using this to reward yourself after completing -the said – tasks can allow you to get more done and feel accomplished afterwards. However, you have to know that it is OK and allow yourself to have the time to do the things you love, but be disciplined enough to get things done too. When you really want something in life then it also becomes easier to push through any inner resistance you feel. Be strong, this is a great tool.
- Learn to handle mistake, setbacks, and failures in a more positive way.
Instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself: “What did I gain from this?” or laugh and say to yourself, “Well at least I tried.” When you are new at something, take a chance, or challenge yourself there will always be failures (so to speak). It’s up to you to find the positive in any situation, it is there. Think about how much easier the next time will be, or the next, and so on. Each time you learn something new. With the right focus, the right attitude, and always testing yourself, life becomes more and more rewarding as you start to achieve greater things. You begin to learn life can be fun, exciting, rewarding, and you feel better about yourself and your achievements. You quickly learn, “I can do this!”
- Be kind towards other people.
When you are kinder towards others you tend to treat and think of yourself in a kinder way too. And the way you treat other people is how they tend to treat you in the long run. Oddly enough, if you are always looking for faults in others, you have a tendency to quickly find and focus on your own faults as well. Vice versa, if you look for positive traits in other what do you think will be seen within yourself? When you compare your life, yourself and what you have to other people’s lives and what they have then you have destructive habit on your hands. Because you can never win. There is always someone who has more or is better than you at something in the world. There are always people ahead of you. So replace that habit with something better. Look at how far you have come so far instead. Compare yourself to yourself. Focus on you. On your results. And on how you can and how you have improved your results. This will both motivate you and raise your self-esteem.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
We all know the saying, “How can you soar like an eagle when your hanging around a bunch of turkeys?” Well, this sure fits don’t it? Even when you focus on all these things mentioned above, and start to love yourself while enjoying a much happier, negative people will find a way to drag you down. So make changes in the input you get. Choose to spend less time with people who are always negative, unkind or unsupportive of your dreams or goals. And spend more time with positive, uplifting people who have more – similar to you – ways of thinking about things. Not an easy change, but one that will benefit you enormously. The same goes for social media, television, etc. A temporary withdrawal – from all of the above – will allow you to get control of your life, the way you think, and allow you to learn how to deal with the negativity you do encounter a lot easier. As you master how you let negative aspects effect you emotionally or effect the way you think or react, people and occurrences won’t throw you off track.
- (Most Importantly) Remember the WHY of better self-esteem.
Always remind yourself of your successes, the benefits, and the rewards of a happier you. Always reminding yourself of the why you made some changes will keep you moving forward and resist any obstacles. A happier, more confident, and a more productive you… Does it get better than that?